JP Alumni Fellow Story: Mary Claire Wente

The 2023-2024 Jeremiah Program Alumni Fellows, each many years removed from their time as JP moms, are using their experiences, expertise, and stories to advocate for other single moms and their families. This is Mary Claire Wente’s story.

I’m Mary Claire Wente and I am a 2012 graduate from St. Paul.

I grew up in a family where social justice was valued. I grew up in a family of strong women who support each other to pursue their dreams. I remember a time when I was walking to class when I was in college, and I had to go to the U of M for one class. And as I was walking, there was a group of people gathered and obviously I was curious — who wouldn’t be? — and so I kind of stopped to listen. And I was immediately inspired by the courage and the community that came together to support racial equality. And as I was talking to my family later on, I learned that my mother was in the same place in her college journey, exact same school to rally for the AIDS epidemic. And then my grandma was there at the exact same place to support racial equality and civil rights in the 1960s. And to know that we came together at that time to support community and people who are different than us was so inspiring, and it stuck with me forever.

So a big change that happened in my life that really helped bring my values into play again was when I was pregnant with my oldest son, Emmanuel. We call him Manny. I was a young mom. I had just turned 20. I didn’t know what it was like to be an adult. I didn’t have the life skills to help myself be an adult, let alone raise a small child.

I grew up in a predominantly white suburb in Minnesota, and there wasn’t a lot of diversity at that time. I was really nervous about what it would be like to raise a biracial child and if my son would be accepted — if I would be accepted as his mom. It was really scary to know what that would be like.

It was really comforting to know that we had a village, a community of people who valued our differences and our situation and were there to support us.

In my village, I had my family, I had my parents, my mom, my grandma. I had my friends. I had the JP community, who really stuck by us and ultimately led me also to St. Kate’s, and St. Catherine University is where I graduated. And when I was there, it was one of the first places that allowed me — outside of my family — to have people who supported us.

I remember so many times that Manny would come to class with me. We would pack up his backpack, and I would pack up mine, and he would sit in the back of class with me and be there throughout the day with me. My professors and fellow students would be there to support me and Manny. Many of those people still know him today.

If we can accept differences and understand people’s backgrounds and what makes them special, we would bring so much value and love to our communities.

Manny and I did everything together when he was growing up. It helped that he is identical to me—we look the same. But he was like an extension of me, my mini-me. We went everywhere together.

It was really great when I would finish a semester or I would finish a year of schooling and we would celebrate together. He would be my cheerleader and my support system along the way. Every time a semester was done, we would do something to celebrate: we would go out to dinner or do an activity together to celebrate that milestone.

My life is great now. I met my husband Tyler after raising my son by myself for eight years, and we got married in 2019, surrounded by our family and friends. It’s been wonderful to find a partner who shares my values and who accepts me and my son, regardless of the situation we came from. It became this seamless relationship that we were able to make, and we have grown our family.

After several pregnancy losses in our first year of marriage, Tyler and I welcomed our rainbow baby, Lennox, to the family. So the arrival of Lennox has been a huge blessing. It has taught us a lot about what it means to be a community and to have a support system within our home.

Once again, as a mom, I was at a crossroads, and I was terrified again.

Lennox was born with a brain condition called hydrocephalus. It is a condition where the ventricles in the brain do not allow spinal fluid to drain and transport as it should. The result of this has caused us several hospital stays. Lennox has had multiple brain surgeries, and we still continue to work through what that process looks like.

Lennox knows no different. He is exactly who he is supposed to be. He may not fit the societal norm, but he was born exactly how he should be in this world.

I hope that people embrace diversity and understand that there’s so much beauty in it. There is. If we can accept differences and understand people’s backgrounds and what makes them special, we would bring so much value and love to our communities. We would have a much richer life for those of us, everybody around us, for those we interact with every day. If we had the ability to give each other grace and to give each other space to learn and grow about one another, I think it would make such an impact on the world today.

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